Wednesday, May 26, 2010

iPad: Beginning of the end?

So I'm trying to watch the end of fill-in-the-blank reality show and that stupid Apple commercial pops up again. Stevie J gave us the best TV ads, perhaps ever, and we've sunk to this? I'm treading on thin ice here since I know less than nothing about anything with wires, but "iPad is thin. iPad is beautiful"?!? iPad's iHair flows through the iBreeze on a motorcycle. Do I really need a reminder how ugly and fat I am from an electronic device?

This is not a PC/Mac debate. Those people who say each are great for different purposes just don't have enough money for Apple. My laptop shuts down in five seconds, your Toshiba takes five minutes. So is PC good for people who have inordinate amounts of time to waste? No, the folks in Cupertino have that argument in the bag. Where they screw up is in Pied Pipering the skinny jean crowd to fall for the Emperor's new clothes. By using a Suave commercial template.

So, listen up lemmings! If you fell for the iPad, you are a complete sucker. It is an iPhone that doesn't make calls and doesn't fit in your pocket. Maybe the point is to carry it in a sling, like a newborn baby, and invite others behind you in Chic Coffee House to coo at it. Good luck with that. It doesn't even have the applications that actually help you get work done. You bought the iPad because 1.) it's Apple; and 2.) that commercial about it being sleek and sexy made you want to be part of the in-crowd.

I'm not saying that the iPad isn't a step toward the future norm. But remember all those folks who fell for Vista? Or laser disc players? Give a thing at least four generations before shelling out some serious dough.

Development Dept. at Apple: watch yourselves. When the lemmings find out you're scamming them, your next new iDevice will fall flat.

Back to mommyhood, where paunchy midsections and dark under-eye circles reign.

4 comments:

  1. I still want one. I'm not currently willing to pay for one, but if some really nice person just decided to put one in my mailbox, I would be thrilled.

    I would use it as a spare laptop so that Jenny and I could both have a real computer at the same time. I'd keep mine in my backpack and take it to work for use during my downtime. I have an iPhone, but as much as I like it, I must admit that surfing the web on a 3in screen is a pain in the butt. I mainly use sites that have their own iPhone apps since they are formatted for the small screen. The iPad is big enough to make a normal website easy to read but still small enough to be fairly portable. There are also lots of iPad apps for kids, such as the SuperWhy app. I haven't yet stooped to using my kids as an excuse to get an iPad, but don't tempt me. =)

    All that being said, I remain aware that I've consumed large amounts of Apple Juice (their version of Kool-Aid) and remain partly under their spell. I even bought the stock. I am vaguely aware that some of their decisions (the Flash thing, for example) are extremely annoying. However, I like their products so much, and am so enthralled by their slick marketing, that I don't care.

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  2. At least you own up to kool aid slurping! The first of 12 or so steps. ;) I won't say the thing doesn't have a serious cool factor. Maybe 4% of me is just plain jealous that it's expensive and I can't one myself. But it seems that Apple likes to have a new something every 20 months just to keep stock stimulated and this gadget isn't a tenth of the revelation the iPhone was.

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  3. For the past several years apple has relied on (to some extent) the aesthetic aspects of its products to sell them.
    But I agree that the latest ipad commercial seems like a new low for them.

    Of course when apple does this it is to appeal to all the "in-crowd" wannabe general population because the old school apple fanboys/girls might by anything apple touches regardless of what it looks like.

    So yah, when they talk and talk about the sleek/sexiness of whatever they are selling with ads like this its like they are saying "the general population are idiots who like shiny things, regardless of their usefulness."

    So I guess the most irritating thing to me is that their current marketing strategy seems to work for them. (people like shiny things)

    I guess it is more useful if you do a lot of book reading or want to watch bigger movies? But forget about using any of that as a selling point...

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  4. Yes, Caleb. I'm ticked off that they made a bazillion bucks with an empty product. The American in me just doesn't like the group-think going on with Apple products. The iPad is Avatar. Loads of glitz, minimal substance.

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